Q&A: Jess Stuart

As an immigrant how can I feel confident if I don't feel equal to New Zealanders?

The research shows that Imposter Syndrome does disproportionately affect minority groups and I think it makes sense that if we’ve been told for generations, we don’t belong we then end up feeling like we’re going to get ‘found out’ – like Women around the Leadership table or heading up businesses for example! My advice is rather than focusing on how to be more like something or someone else focus on what you bring to the table and where your strengths, skills and experience can add something that’s currently lacking. We should be celebrating what makes us unique as this is our point of difference, although I appreciate that is easier said than done in many environments for underrepresented groups.

Any tips to overcome perfectionism?

There’s a saying that sometimes done is better than perfect and that perfection should not be the enemy of the great. Perfectionism can push us to overwork and set us up to fail with excessively high standards. It's often driven from a place of fear (of being found out) so once we build confidence and offset Imposter Syndrome we find we're less likely to be driven to get everything perfect. It's not about lowering the bar we set but resetting it to a realistic level. It’s something we cover in more depth on the one day workshop.

Actual day to day implementation of tools is tough – the busy takes over both at work and at home. How do you get in a positive cycle to make it a habit?

It’s hard to form new habits amid the busy so I suggest taking one or two easy things you can incorporate and find a time in your schedule that works for you. For some people it’s having a round of wins at each team meeting, for others it’s thinking about what went well that week on the bus home every Friday. Some create a success diary they write in or just keep a folder in their inbox to store positive feedback and wins. We’re all different so it’s about what works for you. Don’t try and do it all but take one or two small changes you think will help you and are achievable within your schedule.

How do we support other women who we know are really struggling with their personal self-saboteur/Imposter Syndrome?

Great question and by far the best way is to talk about it with them. As Dr Bloomfield said at the end of the conference, you inspire others to feel they can achieve more when you admit to your own vulnerabilities. It also helps them to know they’re not alone and gives an opportunity for discussion about how you’ve handled it for yourself and tools that work for you they could try (based on what we learned at the conference session and the free resources page you can use on the website).

Does the fear of being unique and standing out and the pressure to just ‘fit in’ make us underestimate our strengths?

It can contribute yes. We often want to fit in and not appear as a threat to others so we’ll downplay our achievements. We also underestimate our strengths for many others reasons (cultural – fear of the tall poppy, lack of awareness, modesty or that we undervalue them because we find it too easy).

What’s the wisdom in 'fake it till you make it?' Has that helped people you know overcome their Imposter Syndrome?

It can yes but it’s not for everyone. I say to people use it if it helps but not if you feel it impacts your integrity. For example, if we were to overexaggerate our skills on a job application – not a great example (and it will impact negatively on your integrity), but if we went to the interview feeling like a bag of nerves and used 'fake it till you make it' to act confident during the interview this is a good example of how this can help. The science behind this is that if we trick ourselves into behaving a certain way it'll become true. It's like the power pose people talk of and forcing yourself to smile to lift your mood. Send your brain these signals often enough and it'll start to embody it!